My Faith

I am a member of the one Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church and I follow the three following creeds. Nicene, Apostle, and Athanasian creeds. I believe in the Trinity which follows that Jesus Christ is truly God.

 Due to a rocky childhood my mother and father gave up custody of me and my two sisters to a woman who lead a more stable life. I was raised by my Grandmother who was a devout Roman Catholic but she only spoke Spanish and I only spoke English. She brought me to church a few times but I had no idea why I was going or what church was. So by the age of 6 or 7 my grandmother gave up on taking me all together. I drifted into an agnostic atheist worldview that served me well into my teenage years.

Like many others growing up in the 90s I spent most of my time playing Nintendo 64 and PlayStation. I also loved Dragon Ball Z and Pokemon. When I used my dial up internet to find out more about my favorite games and T.V shows I took notice that all my favorite past times came to be thanks to a people called the Japanese. I subconsciously attributed their culture as superior to my own and others so I naturally became interested in Bushido which lead to Buddhism.

I also had a friend who was a practicing Buddhist so transitioning into a Theravada Buddhist lifestyle was easy. In 2009 I officially became a Buddhist and would practice mindfulness and meditation. During these years there was a lot of reflection and turmoil about my upbringing. I was angry and lost and used my newfound ability to cast out emotions in their entirety with advanced meditation techniques. It worked for the most part but I couldn't part with my frustration of being a bastard.

At this point I was looking to fictional characters in my hobbies as role models. One day it was Bruce Lee, Tom Cruise, and other days Goku and Kenshin. I realized to cope with aimlessness I fabricated an image of the father I wish I had. Desperately in search of a masculine being to anchor to I started to delved deeper into eastern Philosophy. From Zen Buddhism to the Dao I wanted to round myself out and read western philosophy. The books of the Abrahamic faith were constantly referenced when reading about Kant, Locke and Spinoza. It was annoying to say the least.

These books were so foundational in western civilization that I had to read them for myself. At this point I was at odds with Christianity since I had a self hatred for my own culture and family. The last thing I wanted to do was read the Bible. I read a handful of the Sunnah and Hadiths and took a crack at the Talmud and a bit of the Torah. I figure If I was going to touch on Judaism I might as well read the Old and New Testament. The driving force to learn about these faiths was in hopes that there was something profound in them or at least huge problems so I can outright dismiss them as fairy tales. 

I was wrong. The Talmud needed context of the patriarchs and so did Islam. The Quran immediately felt contrived and Judaism archaic. The gospels and Paul's epistles spoke to me as I read them. Questions that popped into my head were either immediately answered usually within the next few verses. My doubts and preconceived understandings of Christianity melted away the more I learned. I found the Bible to be frightfully consistent, logically sound and intellectually gratifying. I told myself if I found a good reason to believe that Christianity isn't true then I would leave the faith. It has been 7 years since my conversion into Christianity in 2016. 

Today I have an intimate understanding of many world religions and have debated many others in hopes to calibrate my understanding of truth. The cumulative evidence for Christianity, the miracles I personally experienced and the absurdity of the alternatives makes this religion the one I will probably die with. The hole my father left was perfectly filled by Jesus Christ and having him as my example has quelled my anger, cured my anxiety disorder, and healed my heart. I went from being a arrogant womanizer to a happily married man with multiple children. All thanks to the process of sanctification promised to us when we abide in Christ.

Studying the faith and her multiple denominations over the years lead me to defer on picking one. I believe the Holy Spirit started his Church with the Apostles and early church fathers and as the body of Christ we may appear to be divided but are still united in Christ. Ecumenism seems the way to go.